After Spring Break one year, I found myself stranded in an airport, watching my travel plans fall apart.

I’d packed the night before. I checked in to my flight early. I left my hotel with hours to spare. And yet- thanks to a massive TSA delay- I missed my flight.

The worst part was that when I called my district to explain, they didn’t want to hear it. I got docked a day’s pay. The message was clear: You should’ve planned better.

And for a second, I almost believed them. I started second-guessing every step I’d made.

But eventually, I realized that I’d done everything I could.

The delay wasn’t a reflection of me. It was just a detour.

And that mindset shift- refusing to let a system define my worth- is one that too many school counselors need right now.

Because we’re all following someone else’s map. And when the journey doesn’t go as planned, we’re blaming ourselves instead of questioning the route.

Let’s talk about why.

The System Was Never Built for Us

Let’s be real: school counselors are expected to operate in a system that wasn’t made with us in mind.

Schools are rooted in a factory model, where your level of output determines your worth. It all becomes a cycle centered around how many students you see, how quickly you respond, and how much you “produce.”

If your calendar isn’t full, you feel exposed. If there’s a pause in your day, you brace for judgment.

And the weirdest thing is that pressure doesn’t always come from admin. It comes from us– from years of internalizing the idea that “comprehensive” equals worth.

So we keep running as fast as we can, day after day, filling every space and doing the things no one else wants to do.

Not because we have to. But because stillness feels unsafe.

We’ve absorbed a definition of “doing enough” that’s rooted in someone else’s metrics, and it’s exhausting.

The ASCA National Model Isn’t the Enemy (But How We Use It Might Be)

The ASCA National Model was meant to guide us toward comprehensive programs and strong advocacy.

But for a lot of counselors, it’s become a measuring stick.

And here’s the kicker: most districts aren’t enforcing it. Most admins barely understand the National Model, and there are no real consequences for not following it.

So why does it weigh on us so heavily?

Because we’ve turned it inward.

We use the model to compare, to self-monitor, to decide whether we’re measuring up to an ideal that might not even fit our campus.

Worse- sometimes we wield it against each other.

The model should never, ever be used to define your worth as a school counselor. It’s just a tool, and tools are meant to serve YOU, not the other way around.

So if it’s making you feel like you’re failing, it might be time to put it down for a little while and reassess.

Data Should Be for Advocacy, Not Validation

Data is important. It helps us show our work, gives our role visibility, and makes things tangible.

But somewhere along the way, your data probably morphed into a personal report card.

See enough students?

Log enough minutes?

Respond to enough crises? (Whatever that means.)

And if the answer’s no, even for one day, we start to spiral.

That’s not advocacy. That’s self-surveillance.

When data becomes the thing we use to validate our existence, we lose the ability to use it effectively.

You are not a spreadsheet.

Use your data to fight for your role, not to question your worth.

If you want more on this, check out this episode of the podcast- it’s an important listen.

You’re Allowed to Take the Scenic Route

Here’s something most of us never hear: there’s no one right way to be a school counselor.

If the ASCA Model, your use-of-time chart, or your PD calendar makes you feel boxed in… it’s okay to chart your own path.

You can totally pause, reevaluate, and maybe even detour.

I could’ve spent a lot of time stewing in guilt over missing my flight. Instead, I used the time to make the most of my (extended) trip and had a great time.

Sometimes the detour is the destination.

Maybe you’re due for a detour. Maybe it’s time for the opportunity to stop measuring your work by someone else’s expectations and start choosing what actually serves your students- and your sanity.

That’s not failure. That’s wisdom.

Let Go of the Map

As the school year closes, a lot of us are looking back—and feeling like we didn’t do enough.

But maybe that’s because we were using the wrong map.

If you’re tired of the metrics, the guilt, the constant push to “do more”…

Step off the path and redraw the route.

You’re the expert in your building. You get to choose the kind of school counselor you want to be.

And you don’t need a map to tell you what you already know.

Want to know more?

Listen to the full episode: How School Counseling’s Best Intentions Turned Against Us.

📚 Or join us inside the Mastermind, where the work finally starts to make sense.

Because school counselor expectations aren’t the problem.
The problem is who we think we have to become to meet them.

Let’s fix that.