As the holiday season approaches, school counselors everywhere begin to feel the familiar shift in atmosphere on campus. Decorations go up, energy levels rise, and students sense the break approaching – but so do the stressors that come with this time of year. In the middle of it all, counselors often find themselves stepping into a familiar role: the emotional anchor for the school.

Looking back over the summer, I remember reflecting deeply on what it truly means to carry that responsibility. Even now, in the midst of the holiday season, the same lesson rings true: we can care deeply without carrying everything.

When Everyone Looks to You to “Fix It”

During this season especially, you’re likely to be called upon for every kind of concern:
– Academic stress as the semester wraps up
– Behavior swings caused by excitement, overstimulation, or anxiety
– Emotional struggles tied to complicated family dynamics
– Social conflicts heightened by holiday events
– Grief, loneliness, or memories resurfacing at year’s end

The list feels endless… and you may have already been asked more than once, “Can you handle this?”

And often, we try. We jump in. We take it on. We want to help.

But there’s a hidden weight that comes with always being the fixer, especially when the holidays magnify every emotion and every need.

The Cost of Carrying Too Much

When the school community begins depending on you to restore calm, resolve conflicts, or deliver emotional stability, it can quietly evolve into:

Compassion fatigue

Vicarious trauma

Blurred work-life boundaries

Declining joy in the work

And ultimately… burnout

These challenges don’t appear all at once. They creep in slowly, much like the stress that builds before the holidays. And unless we choose to pause and reassess, they follow us into the new year.

A Holiday Reminder: You’re a Helper, Not the Sole Problem-Solver

This season, give yourself the gift of perspective. You don’t have to be the one who holds every piece of the puzzle. You don’t have to absorb every crisis. You don’t have to be the one person who keeps everything running smoothly.

Instead, consider the power of shifting from being the fixer to being the facilitator. Invite teachers into collaborative problem-solving. Model emotional regulation for the adults as much as the students. Empower staff with simple tools and strategies. Build peer-support structures so students help each other

Normalize the idea that the counselor isn’t the only source of answers or calm

This isn’t stepping away. It’s stepping back just enough so your entire school can step forward.

Shared Responsibility Is the Best Holiday Gift

Imagine a school where teachers feel confident handling emotional needs in their classrooms. Staff recognizes their own influence in shaping student resilience. Students feel empowered to support one another. You get to focus on the highest-level needs, not every single need

That’s a culture of shared responsibility — and it’s one of the greatest things you can encourage during this season.

As You Move Into the Holidays…

Let this be a gentle reminder:

✨ You can bring joy without being the only joy.
✨ You can support without absorbing everything.
✨ You can care deeply without carrying it all.

Protect your energy.
Honor your role.
Step into the holidays with hope, not heaviness.

Your work matters more than you know,
and we want you refreshed, supported, and ready for the new year.

Before You Go…
If this reflection resonated with you, remember you don’t have to navigate the demands of school counseling alone. The School for School Counselors Hub offers practical tools and training to support your work, the weekly S4SC Podcast brings encouragement and clarity to real-world challenges, and our Mastermind community gives you a space to connect, collaborate, and grow alongside counselors who truly get it. We’d love for you to join us as you continue building a healthier, more sustainable practice.